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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27238339">Sotto Voce</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneawkwardcookie/pseuds/oneawkwardcookie'>oneawkwardcookie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Awkward Conversations, Eavesdropping, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:40:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,508</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27238339</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneawkwardcookie/pseuds/oneawkwardcookie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has something to say about Buck and Eddie, but sometimes they overhear.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>271</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sotto Voce</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annide/gifts">Annide</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck passed Athena on his way out of Bobby’s office, holding the door open before heading out and back to his car. He has a hand on his door handle when he realises - he’s forgotten to add Maddie’s birthday to his vacation request. Spinning on his heels, he heads back into the station. As he nears Bobby’s office, he overhears his name. It makes him pause.</p><p>“Why was Evan in here?” He shouldn’t be surprised by the mix of concern and judgement in Athena’s question, although the former still warms him.</p><p>He can almost hear the eye-roll of Bobby remembering every other time he’d had to be Captain Nash and reprimand him. “Nothing bad, just dropping off a form.” </p><p>“Finally!”</p><p>There’s silence, before he hears an amused laugh burst from Bobby.</p><p>“No, it’s not that, it’s just a request for time off, although…”</p><p>He hears rustling of paper, then Athena’s delighted guffaw ricocheting off the glass walls.</p><p>He knocks and the laughter stops, before Bobby calls out for him to come in.</p><p>“Back again so soon?” Athena is beaming as Bobby hastily shuffles the documents on his desk.</p><p>“…I’d just forgotten to add a day.”</p><p>“I’m sure you haven’t, you’ve already got everything you need, but I’ll leave you to it.”</p><p>He doesn’t know what to make of the knowing look she sends Bobby’s way as she leaves, or the fondly exasperated look Bobby gives her back as he brushes a kiss against her hand.</p>
<hr/><p>The station is holding their annual toy donation drive and the firehouse is full to the brim, with two crews on shift to manage the emergencies and the members of the public milling around the place.</p><p>He practically flies into Karen, who’s only shielded by the giant box that she’s holding, although the cardboard crumples on impact.</p><p>“Karen! I’m so sorry, are you alright?” He reaches out a hand to her shoulder, as much to steady himself as her.</p><p>“I’ll survive. This box, on the other hand…” Her mouth quirks up into a smile.</p><p>He looks down. Thankfully the box is empty.</p><p>“Um…” He’s not sure why she’s come in with an empty box.</p><p>“Yep, just donating all these toys.”</p><p>He’s clearly looking as harried as he feels, because she immediately takes pity on him.</p><p>“I’m here on behalf of the children’s home to pick up some of the donations.”</p><p>He breathes out a heavy sigh, finally noticing Denny standing beside Karen, eagerly looking at some of the toys that had been dropped off.</p><p>“Hey kiddo.”</p><p>“Hi Mr. Diaz,” he replies with a small smile.</p><p>“Please - Eddie. And Chris was asking when you next wanted to come over and play with his new science kit.”</p><p>Denny's eyes light up, before he rounds on his mom, who’s already nodding and smiling.</p><p>“I’ll go and grab the toys for you.”</p><p>He crouches behind a nearby table, sifting through the crates to find one with the correct label.</p><p>“Mom, how come we didn’t just ask Buck if Chris can come round on the weekend?”</p><p>Karen is patient in her reply. “We need to ask his dad for permission.”</p><p>“I know Mr. Diaz is his dad but Buck is –“</p><p>“Here we go!” He plasters on a grin, holding out… the first thing he could grab onto.</p><p>“You sure about that?” Karen is looking at the outstretched box, which has a massive label that reads ‘Children’s Hospital’: an unlucky guess. </p><p>“I’ll get – I’ll drive them over once we’ve wrapped up.”</p><p>Karen looks him over before giving him a short nod, and he waves back at Denny as they walk out, hand still hovering after they're gone.</p>
<hr/><p>He’s at a barbecue that he calls family dinner, but only in his head and when he can believe that this group of people want him around.</p><p>The grill was extinguished a little while ago, and he’s come indoors to cool down. Leaning back in his seat on the couch, he has half an ear on the conversation that Harry is having with Michael, about the girl he’s got a crush on at school.</p><p>“Dad, how did you know if a guy liked you?”</p><p>Michael chuckles, running a hand over his face as he shoots a look at Buck. “Um, it was kinda different for me… and then I met your mom and I never needed to worry about being liked or loved.”</p><p>Harry’s face goes from a confused frown to a cheeky eye roll, and Michael pulls him in for a side hug, laughing at his affronted yelp.</p><p>“What about you Buck?” Two sets of eyes are on him.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“How did you know if a guy liked you?”</p><p>“Wait, what, I…” He looks up at Michael, who just shrugs, eyebrows halfway up his forehead. “Um, I don’t…Harry, I’m…”</p><p>He’s saved from his stuttering when Eddie comes over.</p><p> “Chris wants you to see what he drew for you.”</p><p>“I’ll be right there.”</p><p>He turns back to Harry, to try and decipher what to say, but Harry just nods at him, in a way that echoes his mother’s wisdom.</p><p>“That’s alright, I already got my answer.” And with that, he’s off at a pace, running over to where Denny is hovering and dragging him into the water fight that’s going on between May and Hen.</p>
<hr/><p>Cap had taken pity on him as he stifled his fifth yawn, and told him to head home, despite his protests that he could just be the man behind for the remaining two hours left on the clock. The double shift had taken its toll though, and he wasn’t getting any younger.</p><p>He takes a moment to breathe in the crisp afternoon air before he enters the house, gently pressing on the handle and closing the door with a faint click. He wants to surprise Chris, since it’s been 23 hours since he last saw him, so he treads softly down the hallway, to try and stay out of sight for as long as possible and add to the surprise.</p><p>He peers into the dining area to see Chris leaning over the table, whispering out his maths work to himself.</p><p>Before he can make his presence known, Chris looks towards the kitchen, calling out to Carla, who walks in and places a sandwich in front of Chris.</p><p>“You need a hand with those sums?” She drapes an arm along the back of the chair, to get a closer look at his work.</p><p>“No thank you, these ones are not that hard,” he lifts his exercise book to show his work so far, “but Miss. Perkins said she’d give me some extra ones next time, so maybe I’ll need your help then.”</p><p>He makes a mental note to thank Miss. Perkins next time he sees her.</p><p>“So, what is it hon?”</p><p>“Is Dad lonely?” He opens his mouth, but he's not sure what he's about to say, what he wants to say, especially since the question is more hesitant than sad.</p><p>“Did he say something to you?”</p><p>“No, he just,” Chris chews over his words a little before continuing, “sometimes he looks a little sad <em>and</em> he said he missed Mom. Chloe at school said that maybe he’s lonely.”</p><p>“Well, your dad has other people in his life that he loves, like you and your grandmother and aunt, and people that love him, like –”</p><p>“Like Buck!”</p><p>“Yes, your dad has Buck.”</p><p>Her laugh fills the room. It feels like he can still hear the echo of it when he walks in, can see it creasing the edges of Carla’s smile, can feel the shape of her words even after she’s left.</p>
<hr/><p>“Have you got plans for Saturday night?” Maddie called from where she was pottering about in his kitchen.</p><p>He pulls up the calendar on his phone before turning back to her. “I’m not working.”</p><p>“Right, no plans then.” He ignores her jibe and waits for her to come back to the couch.</p><p>“What were you thinking?” He doesn’t think he’s forgotten a birthday or anything else that needs celebrating.</p><p>“Just wanted to try out the new Thai place near my apartment.” He remembers her mentioning it a few weeks ago, bringing a smile to his face at her excitement.</p><p>“Is Chim coming too?”</p><p>She gives him a look that makes the answer seems obvious, although he levels an equally unimpressed glare at her, since he doesn’t want to be the third wheel yet <em>again</em>.</p><p>He knows that Chris is staying with Pepa this weekend, and that Eddie will be moping about just a little bit. Plus, he never gets to go to nice restaurants as often as he wants. He shoots off a quick text as Maddie flicks on the TV.</p><p>**</p><p>He’s grateful that Eddie arrived before him, even though he’s received far too many text messages asking where he’s gotten to, especially from someone that hates texting. As he slides into the booth, Eddie taps at the bottle that’s in front of his table setting. </p><p>Maddie and Chimney continue their conversation but Eddie pitches his voice down a little when he speaks to him. “I was starting to feel like a third wheel.”</p><p>“Now you know how I feel!” He doesn’t think he’s said anything to warrant the searching look on Eddie’s face, but the moment passes when Maddie shoves a menu towards him with an exclaimed, “finally – I’m starving!”</p><p>He’s flicking through the pages, sorely tempted by every other dish, before Eddie places a hand over the page.</p><p>“You know you’re just gonna get the green curry, like the last time we got Thai.”</p><p>He knows Eddie's right, but he could do without Maddie and Chimney looking at each other when he says that. Once Eddie’s removed his hand, he folds the menu up, sending a challenging look at Maddie, who just raises her eyebrows and calls over the waiter.</p><p>By the time the food arrives, Eddie’s been tempted by Chim offering him some of the wine that Maddie is eyeing with a pout, and the conversation is flowing just as freely. They all seem to simultaneously realise that they’ve ordered a lot.</p><p>“There’s enough room – just gotta make space.” Eddie sets about manoeuvring the bowls around the table, bumping elbows as he presses against him.</p><p>The dish is just as good as it was last time he'd eaten it, and he finishes it before Maddie has even gotten through half of her fried rice.</p><p>“Can you –” He’s up before Eddie can finish his sentence.</p><p>“Can you get me –”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll grab you a water.” He laughs at the slight flush on Eddie’s face as he swipes his hands on his trousers. </p><p>It takes a little while at the bar, and he’s walking slowly to make sure he doesn’t drop the two glasses of water. That's when he overhears Chimney.</p><p>“It’s a bit hypocritical that he thought we were dating when he – ”</p><p>Maddie jumps a little in her seat as the water splashes onto the table when he sets it down.</p><p>“Who’re we talking about?” He doesn't miss the way Maddie looks shiftily at Chimney.</p><p>“Nobody, Buckaroo, nobody at all.”</p>
<hr/>
<hr/><p>Nights aren't guaranteed to be quiet or peaceful, and, too often, the silence is blasted aware by sirens and the thumping of boots on the tarmac, flashing lights diffusing through the dark. Tonight has already had its fair share of noise and chaos.</p><p>But it’s 5am and it’s quiet in the loft. He’s settled into the couch, propped up against one side with his legs stretched out in front of him. The TV is muted as it flashes dimly through an old movie, the black and white gentler on his eyes but enough to keep him awake until breakfast.</p><p>He doesn’t turn as he hears footsteps trudge up the stairs, recognising the weary tread as it moves towards him.</p><p>“You couldn’t sleep.” Even though the bunks are far away and sufficiently sound-proofed, Buck whispers.</p><p>He whispers back, “neither could you.”</p><p>Buck hums, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. He silently lifts his feet off the couch and Buck sits heavily next to him.</p><p>“I’ve been thinking.” He can feel the nervous energy rolling off Buck, the words exhaled softly.</p><p>“That sounds dangerous this time of night.” The huffed laugh releases some of the tension that had captured Buck’s shoulders and Eddie turns a little to face him. “What were you thinking?”</p><p>“Lately, people have been saying things.” He feels himself start to sit up straight, an empathetic twang in his stomach as he wonders who’s made Buck feel this self-conscious. “About us.”</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>“Right, yeah, I noticed.” He tries to make it sound casual, as though he hasn’t been shaken by the last few weeks, by the coincidences that have turned into a pattern.</p><p>“You noticed?” Buck’s shuffles in his seat too, leaning forwards a little in a way that makes some of the light from the TV catch his eyes.</p><p>“Yeah, Karen and then Carla and –”</p><p>“Mine was Maddie and Chim and Harry.”</p><p>“Harry?” He’s not sure where Athena’s son has come into this, but out of the mouth of babes.</p><p>Buck just shrugs, the story clearly being too long to explain in between what he actually wants to say. “So, what did you notice?”</p><p>He wants to say <em>you</em> but there’s so much more to it.</p><p>“That maybe people have a point.” The sound of Buck’s catching breath tugs at the strings of his heart, and he almost can’t breathe for it. “That there’s something to notice that we’ve been running from, keeping to ourselves.”</p><p>“I couldn’t be subtle if I tried.” Buck’s snort would normally bring a smile to his face but it’s not humorous, a sliver of self-deprecation bleeding through as he lowers his gaze.</p><p>“That’s not true. And even if it were, I’m kind of oblivious to a lot of things.” He tries to even the playing field, but he still feels off-balance.</p><p>“That’s not true either.” Buck’s eyes are almost black now. Or maybe the TV’s switched itself off. He doesn’t want to turn away and check. He lets himself be reeled in with each passing second.</p><p>“Hmmm, I guess we do know each other pretty well then.”</p><p>“Not well enough.” It’s almost a question, hanging in the air like static. He feels like he’ll start sparking if he doesn’t reply soon.</p><p>He’s tired of running, so he stops.</p><p>“We should fix that.” He can’t bring himself to blame the hour for how loudly he returns Buck’s smile, not when he feels all that he sees reflected back at him.</p><p>“We <em>should</em> – once we’ve slept.” He’ll never tire of being the recipient of Buck’s concern, all-encompassing and unwavering.</p><p>He reaches out an arm at the same time that Buck leans towards him, and Buck falls into the space, head dipping to lean on his shoulder. He rests his own head on Buck’s.</p><p>They fall asleep against each other and wake to whispering, but it doesn’t matter anymore. They don’t need to raise or lower their voices: not here, not now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This started off with me talking to AC about using non-English phrases in fics, and so this whole thing is because I wanted to write something with this title. The original premise was the crew are whispering about Buck and Eddie, who overhear, and the plus one was them whispering amongst themselves and being caught. That's not quite what I ended up with but I don't control the speed at which lobsters die...</p><p>If you loved it, kudos and comments are always appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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